The Dangers of Internet Porn

Unlike pornography viewed in magazines, which carries its own potential dangers, pornography viewed online is exponentially more dangerous because of the speed with which images can be accessed and enter the mind, and because of the endless supply during any individual sitting.

Internet porn is a predominately male behavior. Because women tend to be more relationship oriented, they abuse the internet for the romantic aspects of relationship. They find someone in a chat room or online dating service and get carried away in a fantasy relationship that has no basis and no trials in actual life. But this online relationship carries so much weight with its demands for time and its seemingly heartfelt involvement that the woman loses contact with real people, loses productivity and exists in a perpetual state of desire that leaves her vulnerable to making foolish and potentially dangerous decisions.

In contrast, men, because their drive for connection is governed more through visual attraction, abuse the internet to satisfy these visual urges. When men expose themselves to habitual, frequent sessions of online porn their hormonal responses can change to such a degree and with such speed that online porn has been labeled the methamphetamine of pornography.

Internet porn changes the desire phase of sexuality. The man becomes used to certain rituals, such as taking time to go online after work as a reward, waiting for everybody in the household to be in bed, listening for sounds, having his computer environment set up in just the right way, and on and on ad infinitum. But over time these rituals become powerful predictable stimuli that can override the established rituals the man has had with his partner. He loses the desire to engage with his partner because he has less control over the outcome and it seems just easier to be by himself.

The secrecy of engaging in any behavior that is questionable, looked down upon, deemed forbidden or unlawful evokes in itself a strong physiological response. Heart rate and blood pressure increase and muscles tense up. These changes are the same ones that drive the beginning of the excitement phase of sexuality. In addition, fostered by the pornographic images the eye takes in, blood converges in the sexual organs. The visual stimulation coupled with secrecy is a powerful combination that is difficult to achieve through sexuality with an actual human being (with the exception of affairs), especially in a long-term relationship where the partner is a well-known entity.

But above all it is the speed with which images can be called forth and the endless supply and variety that alters brain chemistry. No actual human encounter can match the intensity with which these chemical changes take place and alter the hormones that drive arousal. With repeated exposure over time, the man will find that his body is no longer responding to the often slow progression of arousal with his partner.

Patrick Carnes, the pioneer of looking at sexual addiction, has co-authored a powerful book on internet porn, called "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior", that is an invaluable resource. Mark Kastleman has written two books, The Drug of the New Millennium - The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use" and "Pornography 500mg: Drug of the New Millennium", that are very helpful. For more publications on internet addiction, or more general sex addiction, please go directly to http://www.amazon.com.

In addition, for men who want to free themselves from pornographic addiction, there is SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous), at http://www.saa-recovery.org. And for family members who are struggling, there is http://www.cosa-recovery.org. Since many counties do not have C.O.S.A. meetings, family members could try AlAnon meetings. Even though designed to cope with alcoholism, most AlAnon meetings will welcome those who are struggling with a different addiction in their midst.

If you wonder whether you might have a sexual addiction or if you think you are living with someone who might be sexually addicted, please feel free and give me a call at 707-575-8468 (Sonoma County) or 415-446-5532 (Marin County). Help is available!