signs and symptoms of codependent behavior in men and women
treatment for emotional codependency in sonoma county
psychological counseling for unhealthy relationships between men and women marriage and couples counseling in marin county
Gudrun Zomerland, MFT, CCPS
Licensed Marriage
and Family Therapist
MFC #27617
405 Chinn Street
Santa Rosa, CA 95404
Email Gudrun

Client Resources:

addiction self-tests Addiction Self Tests
sonoma county area addiction support groups 12-Step Fellowship Links
fair fighting rules and tips Handouts and Forms

Articles by
Gudrun Zomerland:

Addiction and

shame as a defense mechanism Shame as Self-Care
internet pornography addiction The Dangers of
Internet Porn
teen drug alcohol addiction Non-Violent Communication and its Relevance for Codependents
teen drug alcohol additction Teen Addiction:
An Open Letter
prescription drug abuse Prescription Drug Abuse
windsor alcohol and chemical dependency treatment The Core of Co-Dependency
santa rosa counselor for depression and anxiety Co-Dependent Characteristics
childhood trauma and post traumatic stress support H.A.L.T.: A Self-Care Tool
family and couples counseling in sonoma county The Family Member in Denial


treatment for trauma from domestic violence and spousal abuse Non-Violent Communication and its Relevance for Codependents
attachment disorders in adult relationships Attachment in Adult Relationships
healthy communication skills in adult relationships and marriage Getting to Know Your Emotions
sonoma county marriage counselor Communication Skills for Couples - 101
treatment options for alcoholism and drug addiction in marin county Differentiation, or What Makes Relationships Work
santa rosa psychotherapist treating depression and anxiety John Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

General Topics:

narcissism Rapunzel, Daughter of a
Closet Narcissist
psychotherapy for trauma Trauma: The Shaking Of A Soul
shame as a defense mechanism Shame as Self-Care
narcissistic parents and conarcissistic children Narcissism and Co-Narcissism
counseling for sexual abuse trauma in northern california Sexual Abuse Guidelines
rohnert park PTSD post traumatic stress disorder therapy Book Review:
"Stop Gaining Weight"
The Body Never Lies by Alice Miller and Hidden in Plain Sight by Barry Grosskopf Is Forgiving Our Parents Necessary for Mental Health?
overcoming fear and phobia through psychotherapy Fear of Fear
counseling for gay and lesbian couples in sonoma and marin county Living with the Light and Dark Sides of Life




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Co-Dependent Characteristics and Patterns

Gudrun Zomerland, MFT
Source: Co-Dependent Anonymous

  • I have difficulty identifying what I feel.
  • I have difficulty expressing my feelings.
  • I tend to minimize, alter or even deny how I feel.
  • I have difficulty speaking what's on my mind.
  • I keep things to myself.

  • I have difficulty forming and/or maintaining healthy relationships.
  • I worry about how other people might respond to my feelings.
  • I worry about what other people think of me.
  • Other people's actions and attitudes often determine how I respond or act.
  • I assume responsibility for other people's feelings and/or behaviors.

  • I tend to put other people's wants and needs before my own.
  • I am loyal and stay in relationships even when they are harmful.
  • My fear of other people's anger determines what I say or do.
  • I question or ignore my values in order to stay connected with another person.
  • I value other people's opinions more than my own.

  • I have difficulty saying "no".
  • I am afraid of rejection.
  • I am afraid of getting hurt.
  • I am afraid I might hurt other people's feelings.
  • I have difficulty making decisions.

  • I need to feel needed in order to be OK.
  • I don't think asking for help is OK.
  • I am hard on myself.
  • My self-esteem depends on outer circumstances or people.
  • I have higher expectations of myself than other people.

  • I don't allow other people to make mistakes.
  • I usually know what other people should do to solve their problems.
  • I can't tolerate the sense of disappointing others.
  • I feel quite upset when I make a mistake.
  • I am perfectionistic.

  • I have difficulty seeing goods things about myself.
  • I have difficulty accepting compliments.
  • I tend to judge everything I think, say or do harshly.
  • Nothing I do is ever good enough.
  • Loving myself would be selfish.
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©2005-2015 Gudrun Zomerland, Chinn Street Counseling Center; all rights reserved.

Gudrun Zomerland is a marriage and family counselor specializing in codependency