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Summer 2012  
In This Issue:

Kevin Cooper explores the debilitating impact of toxic shame and suggests ways to identify and heal from this painful emotion.

Shoshona Pascoe shares her appreciation for the book QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.

Milton Woolley suggests ways to minimize conflict and deepen conversations when a couple is dealing with sensitive topics.

Shonnie Brown discusses the challenge of learning to tolerate one's feelings and suggests some tools that may be helpful in this work.

Barbara Bowen describes how learning to balance the needs of self and others can improve relationships and enhance personal growth.

Who We Are:

We are individual private therapists who practice psychotherapy in the same location: 405 Chinn Street in Santa Rosa. We are not part of a business partnership, group or association, but are sole practitioners. As individual therapists each of us offers years of experience in different areas of therapeutic focus. The array of services offered range from brief solution focused counseling to in-depth psychotherapy. While each one of us cooperates with different existing insurance and managed care companies, we each follow a "fee for service" orientation that allows clients the freedom to choose the therapist with whom they feel most comfortable.

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Chinn Street Newsletter Archives

Kevin Cooper, MFT

"There are two types of shame which human beings can experience. Normal shame, which everyone experiences, is when we feel bad for engaging in behavior which is hurtful or harmful to others. This type of shame helps guide human behavior and is necessary for a civil society to function. Toxic shame is quite different and can be one of the most painful feelings human beings can endure. Toxic shame refers to a visceral and often paralyzing feeling of unworthiness, inadequacy and self doubt. When we experience toxic shame we enter a trance state in which our perspective narrows, our body constricts and our heart hardens. When we feel toxic shame, rather than feel bad about something we did, we feel we 'are bad'."
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INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS: The North and South of Temperament
Shoshona Pascoe, MFT

"There are many systems that endeavor to describe the fascinating ways human beings engage with life and one another. The Introvert/Extrovert continuum, popularized by the Jungian perspective, permeates many psychological models. Susan Cain's new book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking opens up an important conversation, giving voice to the way we have turned from the Introvert's mode of creative process and contributions."
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Mechanics of Conflict in Relationship Communications
Milton Woolley, MFT

"Conflict in relationships is a very complex matter. Many significant components become a part of an impassioned conflict. When couples work in therapy on the significant issues causing distance, emotional pain, not feeling understood, the issues must be sorted through and worked out. What I want to discuss in this article isn't about the content of a conflict between partners. I want to offer a couple of tools that will facilitate addressing the serious issues. It should also be said that there are many ways to think and talk about these tools. My offering is for your consideration and in no way represents the only way to work with these communication problems."
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"I Just Can't Help What I Feel!"
Shonnie Brown, MFT

"Feelings are a real challenge for people. In my experience, most people come to therapy to learn how to tolerate and regulate their own emotions of anger, grief, fear, frustration, hate and even love--the myriad of human emotions, and the bodily sensations connected to them. As human beings, we are not trained to do this, and many feel incapable of it."
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Balancing the Needs of Self and Others
Barbara Bowen, LCSW

"As I see individuals and couples in my practice who are trying to improve relationships, I often observe that they are having difficulties in balancing their personal needs with the needs of the other person in the relationship. Caring about the other person's needs at the expense of caring for our own puts the relationship out of balance, and caring for our own needs without consideration for the other person's puts it out of balance as well. Relationships function best when couples find a way to include both their needs and desires."
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Chinn Street Groups:

Separation/Divorce/Transition Group for Women: ongoing weekly support group for women in any stage of separation from a long term relationship. Facilitated by Shonnie Brown, M.A., MFT, 707-526-4353.

Ongoing Men's Support Group: open to men interested in working on recurrent relationship issues including anger, addiction, communication and parenting. Meets Tuesdays from 6-7:30 PM. Facilitated by Kevin Cooper, MFT; 707-566-7742.

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Chinn Street Counseling Center  •  405 Chinn Street  •  Santa Rosa, CA 95404
Barbara Bowen, L.C.S.W.
707-575-5300 / 925-934-8661

Shonnie Brown, M.A., M.F.T.

Kevin Cooper, M.F.T.

Shoshona Pascoe, M.F.T.

Milton Woolley, M.F.T.

Gudrun Zomerland, M.F.T.
707-575-8468 / 415-446-5532

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