TOXIC SHAME
Kevin Cooper, MFT
"There are two types of shame which human beings can experience. Normal shame, which
everyone experiences, is when we feel bad for engaging in behavior which is hurtful or harmful to others.
This type of shame helps guide human behavior and is necessary for a civil society to function. Toxic shame
is quite different and can be one of the most painful feelings human beings can endure. Toxic shame refers
to a visceral and often paralyzing feeling of unworthiness, inadequacy and self doubt. When we experience
toxic shame we enter a trance state in which our perspective narrows, our body constricts and our heart
hardens. When we feel toxic shame, rather than feel bad about something we did, we feel we 'are bad'."
Read the article
INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS: The North and South of
Temperament
Shoshona Pascoe, MFT
"There are many systems that endeavor to describe the fascinating ways human beings engage
with life and one another. The Introvert/Extrovert continuum, popularized by the Jungian perspective,
permeates many psychological models. Susan Cain's new book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World
That Can't Stop Talking opens up an important conversation, giving voice to the way we have turned from
the Introvert's mode of creative process and contributions."
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Mechanics of Conflict in Relationship Communications
Milton Woolley, MFT
"Conflict in relationships is a very complex matter. Many significant components become a
part of an impassioned conflict. When couples work in therapy on the significant issues causing distance,
emotional pain, not feeling understood, the issues must be sorted through and worked out. What I want to
discuss in this article isn't about the content of a conflict between partners. I want to offer a couple of
tools that will facilitate addressing the serious issues. It should also be said that there are many ways
to think and talk about these tools. My offering is for your consideration and in no way represents the
only way to work with these communication problems."
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"I Just Can't Help What I Feel!"
Shonnie Brown, MFT
"Feelings are a real challenge for people. In my experience, most people come to therapy
to learn how to tolerate and regulate their own emotions of anger, grief, fear, frustration, hate and even
love--the myriad of human emotions, and the bodily sensations connected to them. As human beings, we are
not trained to do this, and many feel incapable of it."
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Balancing the Needs of
Self and Others
Barbara Bowen, LCSW
"As I see individuals and couples in my practice who are trying to improve relationships,
I often observe that they are having difficulties in balancing their personal needs with the needs of the
other person in the relationship. Caring about the other person's needs at the expense of caring for our
own puts the relationship out of balance, and caring for our own needs without consideration for the other
person's puts it out of balance as well. Relationships function best when couples find a way to include
both their needs and desires."
Read the article
Chinn Street
Groups:
Separation/Divorce/Transition Group for Women: ongoing weekly support group for
women in any stage of separation from a long term relationship. Facilitated by Shonnie
Brown, M.A., MFT, 707-526-4353.
Ongoing Men's Support Group: open to men interested in working on recurrent
relationship issues including anger, addiction, communication and parenting. Meets Tuesdays from 6-7:30 PM.
Facilitated by Kevin Cooper, MFT;
707-566-7742.
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