The Infidelity Crisis: Website and Book Recommendations
Shonnie Brown, MFT
Good people in good marriages are having affairs more than ever before. When sex
combines with emotional intimacy, as happens increasingly in the workplace, the threat to the
marriage is enormous. More and more I'm seeing people who have had an affair themselves or have
been hurt by their partner's involvement in one. An affair may be a symptom of something not being
addressed in the relationship. It may be the acting out of a projection of how things could,
should, would be... But one thing is for certain--an affair within a marriage is always associated
with pain.
Here are some links to infidelity resources online. And some book recommendations by my clients
who represent both sides of the issue.
Recommended Websites
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
The Marriage Builder site calls itself the #1 infidelity support site on the internet. It is
extremely comprehensive--Q&As, vignettes, articles, coping skills, internet infidelity. I highly
recommend it.
http://www.dearpeggy.com
Dear Peggy.com is another very comprehensive infidelity resource center by Peggy Vaughan, author
of "The Monogamy Myth,", a personal handbook for recovering from affairs.
http://www.cosa-recovery.org/home.html
COSA is a 12-step recovery program for men and women whose lives have been affected by another
person's compulsive sexual behavior.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/233195/
The Healing Heart is a message board and posting site for those coping with feelings of betrayal
due to a partner's extramarital affair.
http://www.aftertheaffair.net
The official site for the reader acclaimed book, "Infidelity Crisis: How to Gain Forgiveness and
Respect After Your Affair" (PDF) by Katie Coston.
http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizzes.htm, http://www.shirleyglass.com/qa.htm
Dr. Glass, a world renowned expert on infidelity, answers a wide range of questions and offers
quizzes to assess one's vulnerability to having an affair.
Recommended Reading
"Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and
Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity" by Dr. Shirley Glass. Explores "the new crisis of
infidelity." Glass offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable
relationships are and prescriptions for keeping them "safe."
Repairing Your Marriage After His Affair: A Woman's
Guide to Hope and Healing by Marcella Weiner and Armand Dimele. A book written for women
who want to make sense out of their husband's choice to have an affair.
"Emotional
Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap" by Bryn C.
Collins: An inspiring, solution-oriented guide. "Emotional Unavailability" looks at why people
form painful and unfulfilling associations and empowers them to find authentic emotional
connections. Collins identifies the 10 types of emotionally unavailable people to avoid.
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